Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize