go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
