She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
