You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
