considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize
