just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
