I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
