There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Randomize