I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
