I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
