first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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