So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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