I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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