Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
