Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
