Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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