i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
