i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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