xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
