What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm really busy with my period
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