I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
