He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
