Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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