end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
