Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
