I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
