i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
