I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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