I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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