then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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