Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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