Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
