The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
