can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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