she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
