Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
