T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
