Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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