What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
