I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
His nipple licking is glorious
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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