VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
