school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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