I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
