just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
