I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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