Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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