Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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