remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
