I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
