Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
