I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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