I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
