It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
