What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
