You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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