So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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